Only Cub Cadets - Sitting and pondering

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.

Take my advice — I'm not using it.

I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.

Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.

Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

When I married Ms. Right, I had no idea her first name was Always.

Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.

I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

Money is the root of all wealth.

If thinking about doing something makes you giggle, maybe you should reconsider actually doing it.