My sob story
 

Haven't been posting to much lately 'cause I been drinkin' alot!

Last night I was down at the bar, minding my own business when this FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and
said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"

I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"

She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".

I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses
you."

Cost me 6 stitches...but,

When you’re seventy...............who cares?:beerchug:

:biggrin2::ROTF1::ROTF2:

LOL!! Good one!

:biggrin2::ExtremeFunny::LMAO1::ROTF2:

Thats funny!!:biggrin2::biggrin2::biggrin2:

Bwahahahahah! :LMAO1::ROTF2: Very funny! :High5:

Hahahaha......that's a great twist on words!!! One that even Groucho Marx would be proud of!!!:beerchug:

Cub Cadet 123

So, the other night me and the boys had a great time hangin’ out in Savanna. After pizza a t Vinni Van Go Go’s and far too much beer, I decided it was time to head back to the hotel.

Well, bad move. The life guard at the hotel caught me peeing in the pool. He yelled at me so loud I almost fell in!

But hey, when you’re seventy…..who cares?:beerchug:

So, not much has changed in my life as of recent. Being seventy and all I felt it was time to see the Doctor for a check up as it’s been a long time. After all the tests came back the Doctor had me come back in for a follow up. I was very relieved when he told me “Dick, all your test came back normal”:ThumbsUp:

Then the young punk had the nerve to ask me how I’m doing emotionally. Can you believe it? So I told him, “ Actually Doc, all this fighting on OCC has got me all worked up and I’m drinking more than I should”, I know, I know.. never tell the truth, no matter who’s asking. But anyway, I then told him that as a way of dealing, I have been praying a lot and that after all these years I feel that I have finally come to terms with the Lord. As a sign, God has been so gracious as to automatically turn the light on for me each night when I get up to pee. Yeah, can you believe it !? This praying stuff really works! Turns it off when I’m done too. Makes my life easier.

Well, so much for Doctor/patient confidence and such. He musta called my wife cause when I got home she whacked me in the head :bash: and accused me of peeing in the fridge again!

I know, I know, never tell the truth.:bash2:

Hey Twoton read the over 70 thread , you are plagiarizing my jokes (lol)
Oz