The female connector has a piece of metal that folds back where the male piece fits in it broke on a number, this is what broke:
http://www.ozautoelectrics.com/media...226__55462.jpg
Many female connectors dont piece of metal in the middle they just have tighter curls on the sides to hold the male connector. So i bent those in to take up the gap. Like this....
http://www.germansupply.com/home/ima...roductid=18232
Not ideal... but I dont have any of those with the extra piece of metal on hand and when it fails again I will replace, I suspect the wear was due to lack of wire support pulling on the connection. I added some zip ties to reduce strain.
Thanks for all your help guys.
Sean