If you don't have a torch, don't have and impact, you can try taking a two pound hammer and repeatedly smacking the shoulder of the hex nut. I don't mean play with it either.
Quite often, this will jar the nut loose where a wrench will take you the rest of the way.
I always lube the threads when I get those nuts off. When I tighten them, I don't know how tight they are but I'd guess a good bit less that what the spec is. I haven't had any problems but if you want to copy my method, do so at your own risk.
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