Honestly, both of you probably need to rebuild your clutch. Hard shifting/grinding gears usually means the pilot bearing is gunked up and sticking. You can't adjust that out.
I'd make a new driveshaft, have the pressure plates trued up on a lathe, get a new pilot bearing, throwout bearing, main spring, teaser spring, friction disc, and spirol pins, and replace any other parts that are worn.
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