|
PLEASE PATRONIZE OUR SPONSORS!
|
|||||||
 |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
#1
12-20-2016, 11:40 AM
|
||||
|
||||
Disorder in the Courts
HOW DO COURT REPORTERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES?
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ______________________________ _________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________ ________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ______________________________ _______________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. ______________________________ _______________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. ______________________________ ____________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ______________________________ ______________________________ _____ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ______________________________ ______ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. ______________________________ _____________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you sh..ting me? ______________________________ ___________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ______________________________ ______________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ______________________________ ______________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ______________________________ ____________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. ______________________________ _______ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________ ________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. ______________________________ ___________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral... ______________________________ ___________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ______________________________ ______________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________ ________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive, and practicing law.
__________________
2264 with 54 GT deck 1641 AKA Black Jack with a 402-E Haban Sickle bar mower JD317 dump truck BX2670 with FEL 
|
|
#3
12-20-2016, 08:40 PM
|
|||
|
|||
  
__________________
Clay 149, 125, 100 w/ rear pto, fenders, and hydraulic lift. 5 snow plows, 1snow thrower, #2 ih cart   
|
|
|
|
Cub Cadet is a premium line of outdoor power equipment, established in 1961 as part of International Harvester. During the 1960s, IH initiated an entirely new line of lawn and garden equipment aimed at the owners rural homes with large yards and private gardens. There were a wide variety of Cub Cadet branded and after-market attachments available; including mowers, blades, snow blowers, front loaders, plows, carts, etc. Cub Cadet advertising at that time harped on their thorough testing by "boys - acknowledged by many as the world's worst destructive force!". Cub Cadets became known for their dependability and rugged construction.
MTD Products, Inc. of Cleveland, Ohio purchased the Cub Cadet brand from International Harvester in 1981. Cub Cadet was held as a wholly owned subsidiary for many years following this acquisition, which allowed them to operate independently. Recently, MTD has taken a more aggressive role and integrated Cub Cadet into its other lines of power equipment.
This website and forum are not affiliated with or sponsored by MTD Products Inc, which owns the CUB CADET trademarks. It is not an official MTD Products Inc, website, and MTD Products Inc, is not responsible for any of its content. The official MTD Products Inc, website can be found at: http://www.mtdproducts.com. The information and opinions expressed on this website are the responsibility of the website's owner and/or it's members, and do not represent the opinions of MTD Products Inc. IH, INTERNATIONAL HARVESTER are registered trademark of CNH America LLC
All material, images, and graphics from this site are the property of www.onlycubcadets.net. Any unauthorized use, reproductions, or duplications are prohibited unless solely expressed in writing.
Cub Cadet, Cub, Cadet, IH, MTD, Parts, Tractors, Tractor, International Harvester, Lawn, Garden, Lawn Mower, Kohler, garden tractor equipment, lawn garden tractors, antique garden tractors, garden tractor, PTO, parts, online, Original, 70, 71, 72, 73, 76, SO76, 80, 81, 86, 100, 102, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108,109, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 147, 149, 169, 182, 282, 382, 482, 580, 582, 582 Special, 680, 682, 782, 782D, 784, 800, 805, 882, 982, 984, 986, 1000, 1015, 1100, 1105, 1110, 1200, 1250, 1282, 1450, 1512, 1604, 1605, 1606, 1610, 1615, 1620, 1650, 1710, 1711, 1712, 1806, 1810, 1811, 1812, 1912, 1914.
Linear Mode
