How The Fight Started!!

[sparky40]

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you
still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"




And that's how the fight started.....

______________________________

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire "while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”

“No”, she answered.

I then said, “Is that your final answer?”

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, “Yes.”

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

______________________________



When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first … the shed, the boatmaking beer. Always something more important to me. Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tallgrass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, once my testicles descend, but I will always have a limp.

______________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started.

________________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our forthcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 225 in about 2 seconds."

I bought her bathroom scales.

And then the fight started.

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt".

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me", and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience atthe Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have got disability too."

And then the fight started.

______________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I replied, "Your eyesight's perfect."

And then the fight started.

______________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning … The start of a REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said "I am NOT happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

That's how the fight started.

[twoton]

Bahahahaha!!!

[R Bedell]

Ah yes.......